More for myself....

In so many ways I've wanted to get out pieces of paper and write thank yous' but it doesn't seem enough. I'm now seeing a neurological therapist for my post dramaic stress syndrom. I've had time(about a month and half) to really put pieces together of what really happened to me. So here I go from what I remember. (this is more for me, for me to remember, so I'm sorry if it's bad writing.)
I got sick, first with Phenumonia. I had a doctors note for me; not to go to school. It was hard because it's not just school it's university and things just aren't that simple. I was falling behind in my courses. Getting stressed on what to do and things I couldn't do. I went back to my doctor. I was getting better then something happened and that all changed. Mom and I, one day went to the Provo emerencgy room. I named all my symptoms right then and there. The doctor told me he knew what I had, H1N1, the swine flu. I didn't believe him. They took the 24 hr saline test and it came out positive(funny because a week earlier at my regular dr they swabbed my throat and all that jazz-negitive) I couldn't take any medication for my H1N1 because I had had it for too long.
I moved back home. Not for good just till I knocked this horrible influeniza.

Friday 23 Oct. 2009 - Dad, mom and I sat on the couches all day because all of us were sick, watching episodes of Gilmore Girls. It got dark and my breathing became harder. Mom took me down to the emerengy room. I didn't stay there for very long before my mom got a call from dr. curtis our dr and said that I was being moved to ICU. I didn't know what was going on or why my mother was crying. They put the IV in me. My brother in-laws, Lloyd and Marc came down and gave me a blessing. I could see Karen outside the glass windows with my mom...I feel asleep.
(nov. 2, 2009, monday)Waking up cold hearing voices...I kept asking my mom "was I in a car accident?" "no honey you are very sick" over and over agian this conversation lasted with the same question and the same answer. I couldn't walk by myself nor stand for to long without getting tired quickly and fast. I woke one morning in the hospital(the day after I really woke up) thinking "why am i here?" I wanted my mom. I wanted her there to comfort me and say it would be okay. I remember she said she would come but when....one minute seemed like an eternity to me. I picked up the phone. I have to dail 9 to get out but what do I do then....I'd think and think of the number remembering, there are double digits at the end....I'd start pushing buttons, then my mind couldn't remember what to do or what to push next. 9-367 or was it 362.....1388.....I couldn't remember.
A women came into my room. She did all these tests with me. Read me a story and then asked me to repeat it to her, "trying using the same words I did" I couldn't. She gave me a piece of paper with a drawing on it. "draw this image for me?" it was easy a triangle and a square. I'd put the pencil to the paper but I couldn't think of how to do it. I couldn't draw it. Day after day I was getting better and better. Stronger and stronger. I wanted to go home. I couldn't sleep at night in the hospital. One day while I was walking with one of my nurses it hit me that I had forgotten my good friends birthday, my niece birthday and halloween. It was getting dark at 5 in the afternoon.
Friday, Nov 6. 2009- Dr. alward said I could go home. It was truly a miracle how fast my mind was developing again. I still got tired easily walking but I could walk by myself for a bit before needing help. I was putting pieces of things in my mind together slowly.

To some it may seem that nothing happened to me. For me at times it feels that way. I know it did though. Was I suppose to go or stay? I know that because of all the prayers and fasting for me from people I love all over the world I am here today. Thank you!.....but it just saying that doesn't seem enough.... but thank you and bless you!!!

I might add to this with different memories that come back to me. Keep going Carolyn!